Jake has been the finalist for Coolest Kill two years in a row!
I really need to go to sleep. Like now. Right fucking now. I gotta wake up in 5 hours to go pick up valkyrie in paesippany, nj and i can’t FALL ASLEEEEEEP.
We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger
WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE
I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth
Every time I call my landlord about a new problem… their tone of voice drops as soon as they know its me… my bad for picking the shittiest apartment in the building.
Im going to stab these piece of shit teenagers that bang on my window every morning and afternoon and I’m gonna go to jail. But ill go so fucking happy.
TWELVE HOURS MOTHAFUCKASSS